Thankyou Vicky. You are right that those missed times can be made up for
later in many instances (I have a paper on this that I'm happy to share) and
coming from the other viewpoint (as a mother to children who were severely
abused and neglected in infancy and early childhood) it is an absolute
privilege and joy to see a child respond to loving care. I still don't know
all of the rules I broke when our youngest came to us- I'm pretty sure there
was at least a handful (actually my husband reckons that there was a
bucketload) but I don't regret any of them. I really like your phrase
"crimes of affection." Now bringing this back on topic...what is different
about breastfeeding versus some of these other spoken and unspoken rules
surrounding caring for foster children? People here have hinted at needing
to report a mother for breastfeeding, what about bedroom sharing? What about
hugging? What about cobathing? We've yet to really pin down what it is about
breastfeeding that is problematic. If it's not the "ick factor" what is it?
Karleen Gribble
Australia


This is getting a little off topic but I was raised in 26 foster homes
starting 
as a baby as were my brothers.  I don't remember being hugged or loved until
I 
got to one when I was 13. I stayed there for 5 years and she saved my life.
Some 
of the memories that stand out for me the most were:
We did a lot of catching up with that wonderful woman and just the first
year or two of babying we got there really turned us around.
Maybe it helped that there were no other kids in the household to tell the
caseworker what all "crimes of affection" went on:)

Vicky York, IBCLC, CPD
Portland, Or

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