Dear all:

I know it is not directly related to breastfeeding, but I see enough mothers that apply this style of parenting to breastfeeding with disastrous results that I think it is relevant.  We've seen this style before in some of the books.  I have trouble with the premise of the book that this is the Chinese style of parenting since the mother did not grow up in China and I have met plenty of relaxed Chinese mothers - and grandmothers for that matter.  My favorite grandmother was from a part of China that thought baby gas was fabulous.  It meant the baby was eating.  She was the only woman I have ever met that celebrated baby gas as a normal healthy rite of babyhood.  Furthermore, I have seen many non Chinese parents adopt this style too.  My husband (a clinical psychologist) is seeing many more  clients these day who have been parented this way and are having serious issues as adults.    

The irony is that on the same day that this book had been on public radio for about the fifth time, there was also some Chinese diplomats saying that the US shouldn't punish the Chinese for their human rights abuses because everyone knows that you don't get results from punishing a child, you need to give them positive feedback and rewards for behaving a appropriately.

My personal opinion, developed around the time that the New York Magazine did a highly critical article of two Alpha Moms and all the mothers joked about Beta being Better is that these mothers have never learned the Lessons of the Lemurs.  I spent a short while addicted to Animal Planet.  Whenever the Alpha Moms got too uppity and didn't properly care for the Betas.  The Betas deposed the Alpha with complete and total ostracism.  I think that Amy Chua, probably a product of such parenting herself, probably bit off more than she could chew and is facing that type of ostracism.  She said on one segment I listened to that she wasn't implying that she was right and she was trying for humor.  This clearly did not come through in her writing style and she is getting seriously negative reviews and some humorous satires of her book.

Sadly, I see too many parents that think of their children as a product.  After many many postings of various reactions to this book, this is one that was put on the parent network of the elementary school that my son attended:

(from The Onion - a national weekly humor publication that is no longer 
distributed in our neighborhood) 
Last week, Penguin Press published Amy Chua's book Battle Hymn Of The 
Tiger Mother, which criticizes "Western" parenting and advocates an "Asian" 
approach that includes forbidding playdates and being highly critical of 
children in order to make them more successful. Here are some other tips from
the book: 
* Take your children to Chuck E. Cheese's and let them play any game 
they choose, then make them watch as you burn their tickets 
* Ice cream is a great motivator for kids; promise them that if they 
do everything you ask, they can have some when they turn 18 
* Inform your child that televisions receive all of their power from 
flawless renditions of Brahms' Violin Concerto in D 
* Only let your children have a pet dog if they can tame the most 
rabid dog at the pound 
* Should your child express interest in spending more time with his 
or her friends, simply pack up and move several hundred miles away 
* To ensure academic excellence, inform your children that there is a 
mark higher than an A-plus and then shame them for failing to attain it 
* Replace their frail little limbs with less fragile prosthetics 
* Remember, you may have to put up with one or two suicides before 
you finally craft that perfect child you've always wanted

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