This is the thing...foster parents are placed in a very difficult situation
where they often have to choose between what a child needs and what is OK by
the system. There are jurisdictions where carers are not allowed to hug a
child ventral surface to ventral surface. There are jurisdictions where, not
matter how traumatised a child is the foster carer is not allowed to go into
their room during the night. Sometimes following the letter of each rule
prevents carers from providing the care a child needs. Now, I'm not saying
that this is the case in the scenario which is presented but I can see where
"breaking the rules" is sometimes necessary and I can see where permission
might not have been asked for or given for breastfeeding and yet it is right
that it happen. A real case, the  case presented in "The Spirit Catches You
and You Fall Down" where the foster carer both breastfed and coslept with a
toddler who had been removed from her mother for medical neglect- the foster
carer was the only one in this tragic story who met the child and the family
where they were at and there is no doubt in my mind that she did the right
thing.

As I mentioned previously, we have been foster parents- but did so
unexpectedly and without any training. I plan to do the training sometime
this year so that I can learn what rules we broke ;-) One rule I know that I
broke (and I know I broke this one because I had to sign an undertaking to
do this) was that I did not change the sheets on my foster child's bed ever
week...funnily enough there were more important things to do.  Child
protection agencies are rather bad at parenting children.  

Karleen Gribble
Australia

-----Original Message-----
From: Lactation Information and Discussion
[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Elizabeth Brooks
Sent: Wednesday, 2 February 2011 10:46 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Foster parenting and breastfeeding?

Karleen and Marianne -- for me, the issue with the foster mother isn't the
breastfeeding part .... it is the the notion that BF is (or might
be) occurring UNDER THE RADAR.


And even if the judges and human services workers can be convinced of the
"rightness" of cross-nursing, I think that is an elelment that has to be
weighed VERY carefully if there is, in fact, a chance -- no matter how
slight -- that the child will be reunited with its birth mother.  Think
of the cultures in the world where "milk siblings" are according special
status -- like a member of the family.  I think it is fair to say that
breastfeeding is NOT a benign, innocuous activity.  It creates a bond that
goes far beyond feeding, as we well know.  Agencies have to protect the
child's current and future safety and welfare ... and even in a
highly-enlightened, breastfeeding-is-normal world, cross-nursing would add a
layer that may be more confounding than simplifying.

Liz Brooks JD IBCLC FILCA (a *pro bono* child advocate in her spare time)
Wyndmoor, PA, USA

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