Ilene, I agree with Pat on this.  Step back a bit, dealing with a daughter in law IS different than a daughter.  Perhaps a simple plan such as pumping 3-4 x per day after some of the fdgs will increase her milk supply and also baby's interest.  I agree that he is not showing a picture of robust nursing.  Is your son ok with supplementing with mother's own milk?  Side lying position is often helpful to help baby stay awake longer.
With tongue tie, I think babies get tired after nursing/trying to nurse for a few days.  I think they get tired of thrusting out the tongue only to have it snap back into the mouth by the frenulum. 
I agree that dil should see an LC from her delivering hospital or at a clinic.
Susan in Minnesota, rn ibclc
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