Heather writes. in response to my query,

"...One difficulty is that once this diagnosis of 'colic' has been given, 
the diagnoser may add stuff like 'so it's important not to feed more 
often than x hourly/longer than y minutes, as this makes colic worse' 
or something equally fatuous."

Yes, and another difficulty is that once the baby has been labeled as the owner of the problem, the parents may discount all signs of discontent in the baby, because after all, she's colicky and therefore all her crying is for no 'good' reason.

It occurred to me that the measures used to deal with a crying baby will be quite different if the crying is seen to be a failing in the baby, rather than a failing in the care of the baby.  I am NOT saying what is 'right' or 'wrong', merely observing that how we try to solve a problem reflects our perception of what the problem is.

Of course I continue to be baffled when I meet parents who have found a failsafe way to stop the crying (pick up baby and feed her, for example) and who still think there is something organically wrong with the baby so they withhold the effective cure for the crying.  'We can't just feed her every time she wants it, now, can we?'   I always think 'You can't? What ELSE can you do instead?' and then I wonder what is the matter with ME that I don't understand them.

Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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