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Date: | Thu, 14 Jan 2010 10:08:44 -0600 |
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Here I am posting to Lactnet for the second time in a week! But I
cannot ignore the reference to this book.
My newest grandchild was born last year and as a "gift" to her
parents a well-meaning Relative gave them this book. I was staying
with them in the early weeks and was interested to see what this
latest hot sleep book had to say. One sleepless night was made much
more sleepless by my reading this book from beginning to end.
This latest edition is a "modernized" version of an earlier one
published in 1999. The issues addressed in this edition include
"unrestricted breast-feeding" and its potential cause of sleep
problems in the infant due to misunderstanding by the
mother. "Breastfeeding is great, but..." He even speaks softly about
shared sleep... but only up to a point. It is allowed on the way to
proper isolated sleep (very early) with self-soothing as the
norm--for happy children.
Another timely issue is attachment parenting. Not good for babies or
parents.
I read on and my heart was breaking for all of the children-- and the
parents who would accept this way of so-called parenting. BUT the
clincher was the chapter toward the end of the book with a title that
meant "annihilation." That may the be the title or it may be
something related. I have forgotten. The point of the chapter was to
make clear that the goal of parenting is to teach the infant/child
that he/she is in this world alone and the sooner she learns this the
happier she will be. "I am sufficient unto myself." Dependence on
parents robs her of a healthy sense of Self and interferes,
unnecessarily, with the needs of the adults around her.
The more I read the more aggrieved I became knowing that, even though
the Loving Relative lived far away, this baby would be at risk of
becoming another detached human. There are many patterns in the book
that are set up as "positive" behaviors and examples of a "Happy
Child." They are patterns of a detached child. I knew the new
parents well enough to believe that some of these would not look
appealing to them.
These new parents never got to read the book, however, because it got "lost."
I see that our public library has 14 copies and unfortunately most of
them are checked out. Apparently this man is on TV shows and takes
advantage of the current parenting climate to teach his promotion of
emotionally detached humans. This promotion does much more than
shorten the duration of breastfeeding, though it surely achieves that.
This is Dr Emmett Holt, Dr Richard Ferber, et al, with an updated
vocabulary. It is a continuation of the "medicalization" of human being.
Pat Gima
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