Thankyou Suzie, with listmother hat on I concur with your reasoning
entirely. Lactnet benefits from the personal as well as the professional
experience of its members but it is not a place to find support for personal
issues unless there are exceptional circumstances.
With member hat on, I would like to say that I too am amazed that it is six
years since you joined Lactnet and I contacted you to ask why, if you lived
near me and were interested in breastfeeding, I didn't know you! The
Internet is a very useful connector!
Karleen Gribble
Australia
----- Original Message -----
From: "S. Heaton" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, December 20, 2008 12:09 AM
Subject: Re: Mother support
>I totally agree with others that the quality of support varies whether
>you're online or on the phone or face to face. I also agree that all those
>forms of support are really valuable.
>
> However, I thought that this thread started back with whether Lactnet was
> an appropriate place for mothers to get personal support.
>
> I've been thinking about this over the years and more so in the last
> couple of days. In the end I decided that I don't think this is the right
> place for mothers to come for support for their own issues (unless, as
> Rachel said, there are exceptional circumstances). For me, the reasons
> that come to mind are
>
> 1. this actually isn't a list designed for mums to gain support. Allowing
> this list to become a place for mothers to gain direct support will likely
> clog the list and mean that many currently involved would abandon the list
> and the current teaching and learning that everyone brings may evaporate.
>
> 2. As mentioned by others, there are lots of places around the world,
> where you can gain free counselling either one to one email, or on message
> boards or email lists for support with breastfeeding. Mothers are
> actually not lacking in places to gain support. I don't know about now
> but five years ago Lactnet stated upfront that this was not a place for
> personal issues and that if you had personal issues that required help
> that you could go to Parent-L for support. (I remember because I availed
> myself of the wonderful Parent-L when I had issues).
>
> 3. You would not expect to be able to visit a list for doctors with your
> own problems, why should anyone expect lactation professionals and
> volunteers to use their learning/teaching/debriefing time to help mums. I
> would imagine that all, or at least the vast majority of lactneters
> already put energy and time in elsewhere to helping mums either directly
> or indirectly.
>
> 4. I don't think that those reading the list automatically have their head
> in the space to be counselling mums on the list. There will be
> assumptions made, particularly if it isn't made clear that it is a
> personal query from a mum, about what has already been tried or
> considered. I don't think this is fair to mums and my thought was that
> this is what Rachel meant by
> "Mothers are generally better served by in-person help than by counting on
> whatever they can find on line, and that is the reason for this part of
> the guidelines."
>
> and finally
> 5. The listmothers very generously offer to be contacted directly for
> support, just not post to the list. Whether they offer one to one support
> or whether they refer on, the mums are being taken care of.
>
> I think the listmums deserve due credit for their generosity, both for the
> support they offer mums and the fact that they give lactation
> professionals, volunteers and interested parties a list that is not
> clogged but that is also not closed so that many have and will continue to
> discover the list without knowing 'someone' first.
>
> Regards
> Suzie Heaton
> Australia
> Still amazed that it was lactnet that connected me to volunteers just 1/2
> hour down the road :-) and that it's nearly 6 years since I joined.
> ***********************************************
>
> Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
> To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
> Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
> COMMANDS:
> 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email:
> set lactnet nomail
> 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
> 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
> 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet
> welcome
>
>
> --
> No virus found in this incoming message.
> Checked by AVG. Version: 7.5.552 / Virus Database: 270.9.18/1849 - Release
> Date: 12/15/2008 9:01 AM
>
>
***********************************************
Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome
|