I attended an interesting presentation - totally NOT breastfeeding related -
by a health insurance executive - he was describing how his company had
earned the reputation of being very consumer-oriented - to the point of
earning fantastic certifications and peer recognition.

One requirement he had was that his staff was NEVER to speak negatively
about a client, a physician, or any other group.  EVEN in a private meeting.
His rationale was that if you get used to saying it, you can more easily say
it - when it's the wrong time and to the wrong person.

There are ways of expressing regret, dismay, disappointment without
diminishing the other person - and its best to ALWAYS use those terms - then
you won't use them at the wrong time or place.

(This reminds me of the fact that my parents NEVER used racially-charged
terminology even though both had been raised in households where this was
acceptable - but I had NEVER heard those words and was shocked to hear them
spoken out loud - when I went to college - needless to say they never exited
my mouth!)

So I have to agree that YES, Lactnet is a place to speak our minds - but we
should, like in any other public place, be very careful what we write -
remember this lives on and on and on...

Which bring to mind the story of the little boy who was always using mean
language and was told by his dad that each time he did, he must pound a nail
in a fence.  Finally, as he learned to not use those words, his dad told him
that now, when he said KIND words, he could remove a nail...after a while he
showed his son: even though the nails are removed - you still leave an hole
- you can never completely "unsay" what you said.

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC
California, USA

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