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Date: | Sat, 7 Jul 2007 07:07:17 -0400 |
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Dear all:
I actually haven't had so many problems with Ezzo lately although I see it on bedstands
all the time. But this week really has been overwhelming with 2 cases of plugged ducts
from mothers desparately trying to nudge their babies into the feeding patterns of the
"contented little baby" book. The first mom had a lovely mother who completely
reinforced her breastfeeding and constantly pointed out how well she was doing and how
well she was reading her baby's cues. Once her mom left she resorted to the book. The
other baby is big nine pounder and currently thriving, but mom has put him on a reduced
number of feedings and is holding him up with a pacifier when he gets hungry at 4:30
am. She actually had an excellent routine prior to reading the book that almost any
mother would have been happy with. Her baby slept 6 hours every night. BUT the book
told her to drop a feeding. Then end result is that he sleeps less now. I showed her how
much he was taking and how he couldn't get enough if he dropped a feeding and
suggested modifications within her "routine" so she wouldn't feel she was drifting out of
control.
Then, there is a trend among one pediatric group in the city to send parents to a "sleep
trainer" at 3 months. I had to reassure a mother that she wasn't negligent for not
wanting to go to a sleep trainer. She was completely happy with her routine.
Finally, I have finally seen a mother of multiples who can CONSISTENTLY feeds both at
once. One baby is regurgitating a bit and can't always hold out until his sister is ready to
feed, but mom herself has no problems feeding him. She says she was in tears a week
ago because she went to a "British nanny" session where the other moms had conformed
to some sort of "schedule". She felt terrible because she hadn't managed to "schedule
her twins. She was the only one in the group exclusively breastfeeding (that's right - not
a drop of formula ever) and the only one with twins. I honestly think this mother saw me
only to get over the bad session where she felt like she was the worst mother in the
group. I kept emphasizing that she should feel proud of herself for exclusively
breastfeeding not just one, but two babies and getting into a routine that worked for her
and her babies.
I still remember the only time I intervened in a playground discussion between two
moms. One was a mom of twins who happily cobedded with her babies. The other was a
mom of one who Ferberized her kid. She was harranging the other mom about sleep
training. When the mom of twins left, I actually went over to her and quietly explained
that we all have different ways of doing things and if her friend was happy with a
different routine than hers, especially with two babies, it might actually be OK.
Whatever happened to Mary Poppins? I actually rewatched it when my son was little and
she managed to get the distracted "trophy wife" who was running around doing
everything but care for her children and the too busy "corporate husband" to pay
attention to their children and spend time with them. I don't remember her suggesting to
put their children on some schedule so they could ignore them and fulfill only their own
needs.
Best, Susan Burger
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