Hi Lynn,
Merry Christmas! 

I am sorry to hear that this new mother and baby are not being respected 
in their lying-in period.  I teach the families I work with the history 
of lying-in, with the biblical standard of 40+ days as one valid time 
frame, and the idea of a *spiritual* lotus birth as another valid time 
frame, which is until the cord stump naturally falls off.  Ideally 
mothers/families should be able to get acquainted with baby, and the 
extended family and community should support them for this.  I teach 
that it is dad who should be the "heavy" for rule enforcement with 
difficult people, especially when it comes to (both sides of the) family 
and close friends.  It is dad who should say, "This is how we are doing 
things.  End of conversation.  (And if you bother ~her~ with this again, 
you will be asked to leave and not invited back for a long time.)", and 
NOT, "Well, you know how ~she~ gets sometimes, ~she~ doesn't want to do 
things the way ~you~ would like.". 

Maybe your validating her feelings will give her just enough extra armor 
to defend herself.

Corrine Flatt
midwife
Las Vegas NV

> baby was all of 16 hours old and has been parked in the living room 
> for the last four hours.  The mom was so glad to be able to retreat to 
> the bedroom when I arrived, and I bought her a few hours for a nap 
> when I left.  Her family is expected to arrive in another hour and 
> plans to TAKE THEM OUT TO DINNER.  I went ahead and had a fit when she 
> told me, to help legitimate her feelings.  Baby is going to need some 
> quiet time to learn to open wider and deal with a short nipple and it 
> isn't going to happen in that atmosphere.
>
> My dh says it's because the medical model considers pregnancy a 
> disease, so now she is "cured" and since she isn't stuck in the 
> hospital she should be able to be out and about immediately.  I hadn't 
> thought of it that way before.
>
> Lynn in MO

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