" I have enough to do at work helping the mothers who are
committed without expending extra energy banging my head against a wall
with a mother who clearly is NOT at all interested in or committed to
breastfeeding. "
While I can certainly understand this sentiment, and by association of being a
LLLeader, I am here to help mothers who choose to breastfeed, not convince
them to do so, I have to wonder, how do we know who is committed and who
is not? Two examples of mothers I have helped come to mind.
Mother #1 was having her second child, came to two meetings while
pregnant. She professed a strong desire to nurse this baby despite having
been 'unable' to nurse the first. We discussed the concerns she had, how to
avoid similar problems, and I went to the hospital to help her with latch after
the baby was born. I lived nearby and offered to stop in any time she
needed. I lent her my copy of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and the
Breastfeeding Answer Book. I cooked her some meals, picked up her older
child from school and checked in on her often. Despite a good latch - as
evidenced by no breast discomfort, despite good milk transfer - as evidenced
by baby coming off the breast milk drunk, gaining weight well, etc, despite the
information on hand about the benefits of breast milk and management of
breastfeeding and lactation support, she quit nursing at three weeks because,
despite all evidence and information to the contrary, she "didn't have enough
milk".
Mother #2 called during a particularly busy week. She was supplementing 2oz
after every feeding as per her pediatrician due to jaundice. Baby was nearly 2
weeks old and had never latched well. Mom sounded rather apathetic about
nursing. All of my suggestions and information were met with a skeptical
hmmmm and my suggestion to contact a private practice LC was dismissed as
too expensive. I was unable to see her until our LLL meeting the following
week. Despite her seeming lack of interest in getting help, I gave her info on
S2S, baby-led latching, baby-mooning, etc and encouraged her to come to a
meeting. By our meeting the following week she had been able to reduce
supplements by more than half. She continued to attend meetings until the
baby was 3+ months old.
On the surface, mother #1 was committed and mother #2 was not. Clearly,
there was more going in both cases. Sometimes what a mother says is
contradictory to what a mother does. Sometimes she is saying what she
thinks she is supposed to say. Whether committed or not, I feel they all
deserve equal amounts of information. Learning how to deliver the information
in a way that informs but does not judge is key.
Jennifer Papworth, LLLL
Who has yet to meet a mother that 'should not' breastfeed, but some that
perhaps 'should not' parent.
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