It sounds to me like everyone is very angry. We LCs are angry
because mothers come to us having suffered greatly physically and
emotionally, and babies have been separated from the comfort of their
mothers and subjected to pain and distress. Childbirth in the
medical model is destroying mothers and babies in order to save
them. Doctors are angry because after devoting around a decade of
their life and tens of thousands of dollars in education, they are
treated by many breastfeeding advocates as ignorant at best and
malicious at worst. Mothers are angry for obvious reasons.
However, we are all on the same team, and we want the same things --
health and happiness for mothers and babies, and for ourselves. It
is imperative that we let go of our anger and work for solutions.
Blaming each other is not a solution, whether it's blaming mothers
for giving up too soon, blaming doctors for trying to save mothers
from sinking into PPD from endless pumping and more separation from
baby as Grandma finger-feeds while mom is stuck to the pump, blaming
other LCs for not being as up on the research as they should be,
etc. In the litigious climate in the US, many HCPs are also trying
to save themselves and their families from the agony of a malpractice
lawsuit, and who can blame them? I certainly don't want to lose my
house and my savings. The buck rests with the doctor, so we need to
appreciate why they sometimes jump to formula too soon. If there is
a solution, we need to let the doctor know that we are on their side
and want to help. Some doctors will not be able to get over their
mistrust, but I believe that over time they will come to see the
value of our expertise. They will not see our value if we are angry
at them and demand that they see the error of their ways.
It is SO HARD not to sink into anger and despair as we see mother
after mother cut open and having her dignity and sovereignty over
herself and her baby taken away. But we must not waste time being
angry; it does no good and only harms our cause and turns people
against us. I just keep coming back to the civil rights movement.
African Americans had every reason to be angry and want to destroy
the whole power structure. But they didn't. They looked at their
oppressors in the eye, and asked them to join the movement for peace
and brotherhood. I don't want to sound like the Onion article "In
College I Marched Against Racism -- And It Worked"; I am just saying
that we need to learn from their courage and invite people to join
the cause of protecting breastfeeding, not fall into the trap of
feeling that we are good and they are evil. I have never met anyone
in health care who goes to work every day thinking "how can I butcher
mothers and babies today?" People who don't know what we know need
education, compassion, recognition for the good they ARE doing and to
be shown the way to do better. You can stand back and rage at them
to come to our side, or you can walk over where they are, take them
by the hand and walk with them to our side -- the side of respecting
women, men, doctors, babies, and all people.
If I am wrong about this, I welcome dissenting opinions. Honestly, I
just hate all this fighting because I feel it wastes energy, hurts
feelings, and does not convince people that breastfeeding is great
and that LCs are confident and secure in our knowledge that we have
important information to share that will benefit mothers, babies,
families, HCPs, communities, the world. I personally came into this
profession with a huge chip on my shoulder about how mothers and
babies had been screwed. And they have been. I know where you are
coming from if you are seriously pissed off at the health care system
and everyone in it. The system is severely broken, for everyone.
To win for mothers and babies, however, we need to make allies of
Grandmas who formula fed, mothers' friends who are currently formula
feeding, husbands who love and respect their own mothers who formula
fed them, doctors who want the best for their patients but don't know
and don't have time to learn about breastfeeding because they are too
busy saving lives and dealing with insurance companies' attempts to
cut their pay, and anyone else who is currently unaware or incapable
of protecting, supporting, and promoting breastfeeding.
I have so much more to say on this topic, but I don't want to clutter
up the list too much. As the kids say, "peace out."
Warmly,
Lynnette Hafken, MA, Mom of 3, LLLL, IBCLC in PP
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