Dear Friends:
Interesting discussion. Here's another take on this topic.
For me, maturation as a professional has made me more open and accepting.
When I first started, I was determined that every mother I worked with should
have an unmedicated, spontaneous labor and breastfeed. I spent a lot of energy
fighting to create that reality. I made people resistant and defensive by this
attitude, and probably did as much harm as good.
Time and education have worked wonders. I now realize that I personally can
not change the US exclusive breastfeeding initiation rate with every mother I
see. We all have our unique histories, our individual situations, and infinite
variations. While I know that exclusive breastfeeding is the best way to
start, what really matters clinically is what the new mother I am seeing right now
knows, values, and wants. How can I create an environment where we can have an
open discussion? How does she see herself as a mother? How can I have her
tell me more about herself, before I put a suggestion into the discussion about
exclusive breastfeeding? How relevant is my suggestion to her life? (Especially
as babies are too frequently supplemented with formula in the hospital.)
In the hospital, I am but one more walk-on in her movie. Remember Barbara
Morrison's lovely research showing that the average number of interruptions for a
new mother is 71 in 14 hours! How in the world can this mother remember me
when she has a cast of thousands streaming through her life?
I don't care if she remembers me; I want her to know her baby!
My main goal is to promote attachment. I do suggest we get the baby involved
in the discussion, hence s2s! Once they are s2s, I sit down and we chat about
things. Even if breastfeeding doesn't occur, she will have learned to look at
her baby more. The baby is the ONLY one she needs to look at and learn from,
not me, not any other person.
If she hates the idea of breastfeeding, does she know it is possible to pump
and give her baby the best milk in the world? I've met many women that didn't
know such was possible, or have been actively discouraged by health care
professional! The way I see it is to promote attachment and connection and assist
with keeping milk flowing. Ideally that is with the baby and breastfeeding, but
if it is with a pump, then I am sure to tell her about the case study that
Donna Ramsey Geddes mentioned (of the mother that pumped for 2 years) so the
mother in front of me knows what is possible.
I am not so interested in knowing why she's made her decision, at least not
in the hospital. What can I do about it anyway? I do want her to be the best
mother she can be; if she can have the experience of holding that sweet body
next to her heart, she's on her way. If breastfeeding occurs, terrific! If she
knows where she can find help, excellent. If she wants to pump and bottlefeed,
fabulous. It is her life, not mine. If she has the experience of s2s, and can
do it at home....she and her baby will discover each other. Who knows where
that will lead?
warmly,
Nikki Lee RN, MS, Mother of 2, IBCLC, CCE, CIMI
_http://www.breastfeedingalwaysbest.com/_
(http://www.breastfeedingalwaysbest.com/)
www.myspace/AdonicaLee
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