Mostly I need to vent, but any appropriate suggestions would be welcome.
Saw a mom two days ago, chief complaint was sore nipples, and indeed
the one was pretty beat up. I felt like the consult went well and
this mom was on the right track. However, she needed me to write down
EVERYTHING. I called her 24 hrs later to see how things were going.
Not well. She was really struggling with pretty basic stuff. I had
asked her to do some pumping to try to build up a borderline supply,
and that seemed too much for her. So I said, JUST BREASTFEED. Called
her back 24 hrs later - things not going well.
Then she proceeded to tell me that she and her husband had a heart to
heart about how stressful all this breastfeeding stuff was. She was
used to getting lots of sleep, she could even sleep 10-13 hrs a night
and the sleep deprivation was really hard. Okay, yes, I agree, sleep
deprivation is hard. It's also part of being a mom, not just a
breastfeeding mom. But, then she went on to whine about how social
they used to be, and going out with their friends (this baby is only
4 weeks old), and she was so tied to breastfeeding and pumping. She
said she did say to her husband, "maybe I could just pump and
bottlefeed" but he said "well, then you would be tied to that."
I began to realize they just didn't like the life changes a baby
brings and if not breastfeeding could minimize that, well then who
cares if it's "healthier" for the baby?
I wanted to yell at her, "Why didn't you just get a plant instead?"
Of course I didn't. I said - don't make a decision now. Just pump and
bottlefeed for a week. Get some rest. I told her many moms quit
breastfeeding only to find it's being a parent that changes things,
not really breastfeeding, and then regret their decision. I know she
wanted permission, but I just couldn't give it.
Is there anything else I could have said, besides "don't be so
selfish"? I felt so frustrated.
Andrea Tran RN, IBCLC
Erie/Boulder, Colorado
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