On 22/05/2007, at 5:13, Diana Cassar-Uhl wrote:

> In my own experience, having the breast as a parenting tool has been
> indispensible.  I have tried nothing that works as well as a quick  
> nursing
> to get a toddler through a squabble with his big sister during a  
> cranky time
> of day or a little mamma-milk to dry the tears of a preschooler who  
> just
> fell off her tricycle and scraped her knee.  When I came home after a
> morning at work, it was such a comfort to my babies that they could  
> have a
> nice, long nursing, and such a comfort to me that no one else could  
> do for
> them what I was doing.  No one could replace me, their mother.

Just on this note, when EPing I found warm mother's milk in a bottle,  
with a close cuddle, was a similarly useful tool for bumps and  
scrapes right through into toddlerhood. (Another reason not to wean a  
bottle too early for EPing mums, in my opinion; you can more closely  
simulate the quick comfort nurse with a warm bottle than with a  
cup.)  He reacted quite differently to MM compared to formula.  
Formula was food, taken somewhat reluctantly for hunger; MM he would  
relax into, slurp down with smiles and happy grunts, and go into that  
sleepy, almost milk-drunk state if he had a full belly of it.

The mother also gets many of the benefits of breastfeeding while  
EPing. None of the convenience, but she does  get the hormonal  
milieu, the oxytocin surges, the regular milk removal (these probably  
all correlate to the cancer reductions observed in mothers who have  
breastfed); and if pumping efficiently and effectively enough, the  
amenorrhoea and child spacing benefits.

I think it's worth the list remembering that most posters are in the  
USA. Outside, we get vanishingly low numbers of mothers "choosing" to  
EP. EPing is for preemies, babies with certain disabilities, babies  
who can't transfer milk at the breast for various, mostly physical  
reasons. This conversation has so far concentrated on psychological  
reasons for EPing when there is a choice; supporting mothers who have  
no choice has a  different flavour, and comes with its own sets of  
hurts and sore points. If someone had asked me "Why do you EP when  
breastfeeding is so much easier?" it would have felt like someone  
asking a paraplegic "Why do you use a wheelchair when walking is so  
much easier?"

Remember the disability model when interacting with women who are  
unable to breastfeed and who use a pump as an assistive tool.  
Conscious de-normalisation has the potential to affect these EPing  
mothers by marginalising them by deliberately and unproductively  
labelling them "ABNORMAL". In the disability world, we strive to  
provide accesses and experiences for disabled people that most  
closely approximate normal, to offer inclusive services. To go out of  
our way with social engineering to ensure these women are hit over  
the head with the fact that they're "not normal" is very bad practice  
indeed. They know they're not normal every single time they hook up  
to the pump. Further marginalisation is not necessary and can be  
experienced as outright abusive.

Lara Hopkins

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
Mail all commands to [log in to unmask]
To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or [log in to unmask])
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet or ([log in to unmask])
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]