A member of a birthing weblist wrote "I always have such mixed feelings
about this topic...some of the women seem so Rosa Parks about it..."
My response:
It is part of a process of accepting change in cultural norms that our
hearts and heads tell us something is right, but we admit we are
uncomfortable at first.
The Rosa Parks analogy is actually quite good. Remember that all Rosa Parks
did was sit down after a long hard day at work, having done what everyone
else on the bus had done: paid her full fare.
Many people who felt and thought that Rosa had a right to take a seat on the
bus probably were still very uncomfortable with seeing a black woman sitting
while white men stood. It broke our cultural norms, not only regarding where
blacks were allowed to sit and eat and stand and walk with respect to white
folk, but in how women and blacks were supposed to ingratiate themselves
with authority--something that is much more frightening. Even those who
understood that there is no human difference between black and white were
still uncomfortable and frightened that Rosa would simply and quietly
challenge the right of authority to deny her humanity.
Infants need the breast on an immediate basis. It is both a true physical
and emotional need. Milk from the breast provides up-to-the-minute
immunological protection, pain relief, reassurance, and is the only
physiological and complete source of nutrition for babies. It is at least as
important as making certain a diabetic is not denied either food or insulin
in a timely manner. It is at least as important as making certain we are
clear, calm and loving when explaining things to those with Down Syndrome,
or autism. It is equivalent to meeting the needs of the disabled, and not
denying those in wheelchairs access to bathrooms or restaurants or
airplanes.
The discomfort that some still feel when they see a woman breastfeed a baby
is only partly due to their own training--most, if not all, persons my age
were uncomfortable at some point at seeing people of color eating at
Woolworth's, or couples of different races holding hands. It was not only
that we were unused to seeing it, and we had been told it was wrong (and, in
fact, both these things were illegal in this country when I was growing up).
It was also a fear of what would happen when people challenged the status
quo by reclaiming their humanity, their dignity, and their freedom. We were
afraid for them, and afraid for ourselves.
A baby's right to eat, and a mother's right to breastfeed, are basic human
rights. They are physiological needs. We can no more deny a child the right
to breastfeed than we can deny all those under age 5 or over age 80 the
right to eat in public. We cannot deny the disabled or people of color the
right to eat in public. We can no more insist on the breastfed baby
remaining in purdah, wearing a chadoor while he eats, no matter the
temperature and circumstances, than we can insist that women remain in
purdah, covering their faces while they eat.
I urge you to consider with compassion the situation this mother was in. A
plane, before it takes off, is a very uncomfortable place. There are
hundreds of people squashed in together, there is as yet no fresh air flow,
the heat builds up, and there is a palpable miasma of fear from those who
are to some degree afraid of flying--perhaps this includes all of us.
Anticipating the pressure change and roar of the engines about to occur,
this mother offered the only practical and loving protection available--the
solace this child knows is always available in frightening and painful
circumstances--the breast.
I don't want to nitpick about how many square inches of breast were visible
around the child's head. We all know that a child's head is larger than a
bikini top, and that the airport terminals are full to bursting of magazine
covers showing much more breast being displayed provocatively and with the
intention to incite desire than the amount of breast being shown lovingly
and non-sexually during a nursing episode.
This mother did precisely what was right. She defended her child's right to
be relieved of fear and pain, and she refused to betray the commitment she
has made to stand by her child and protect him from capricious acts of
cruelty, even when invoked by someone claiming authority, or by current
mores.
We do need to stand up for our children.
And others without power and without a voice in our society.
Yours,
Arly Helm, MS, IBCLC
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