In a message dated 7/21/2005 7:46:18 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
I have always felt like it was important for women who breastfeed, whose own
mothers bottlefed them, to be sensitive to their mothers' feelings. If the
new mother can communicate her appreciation for her mother's efforts on her
behalf and, in many cases, explain that the information that was given in
decades past was what set them up for failure, it can go a long way toward
making the new grandmother feel better about it all, and also become willing
to support her daughter.
I really enjoyed this statement. My mother (my best friend) did not bf me.
Her mother didn't bf her. Her sister didn't bf her children, and my female
cousins haven't bf any of their children. When I became pregnant with my now
5 yr old, I told my mom that I would be bf and needed her to support me and
encourage me, even when she may think differently ( I lived 2000 miles away
from her for my first 2 children's birth so she had no say in my feeding
methods, but at this time I only live 20 minutes away and see her at least 4 times
a week). She agreed to respect my decision, and through my own experiences
and information I would give her, she has become my strongest bf ally. She
is a home health nurse, and there are times she is on call and receives a call
from a postpartum mom with bf questions, and she has asked me for an answer
to the question, or now answers appropriately because she has learned so
much. When I had surgery she stayed with me so that my daughter could cosleep
and nurse after my surgery, and with the exception that she was sleeping in a
chair, and that I occasionally needed pain meds through the night, she
couldn't believe how well she slept even with a new baby in the room. The baby
never woke her up (because she never cried). My mom speaks to many about bf and
how wonderful it is. She has expressed disappointment in the fact that she
didn't bf. I encourage her, telling her she did the best she could at the
time. I have no ill will toward her, how could I? She is my mom, she gave me
life, she nurtured me with what she knew. I obviously thrived in spite of it
all, and I am lucky that I had the education to make a better decision
regarding her grandchildren. She is the first to tell me how proud she is of me
and my mothering style, and I can tell that she wishes she could change the way
she mothered me. Not that I am a perfect mother by any means, but for what
it is worth, my aunt's daughters have both lost custody of their children
(one daughter has lost all rights, and her children have been adopted) They were
never maternal types anyway. Would bf have made a difference? Who knows.
I am sure that formula feeding didn't cause the problems that led to that
outcome, but perhaps, just perhaps, if they had bf, more maternal feelings may
have evolved where none had existed before. We will never know. I love my
mother with all my heart. I love the support she gives me when I bf in
public. I thank her publicly for being my mom.
Renee Drake RN CLC
I make milk....What's YOUR superpower???
***********************************************
To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html
|
