Mary Jane: Some of the reason mothers don't take in all that we say is
hormonal changes making them forgetful and honing in on the baby. Not to
mention that they are simply exhausted. On my first postpartum visit as a pp
doula I only stay one hour because they just can't take much information, so
I just get the breastfeeding on the right track. I agree with you that if
you give them a couple of days they are then ready for information as the
baby has become a reality and not just an abstract idea.
Kathy, in response to your note below: I understand how it might seem so
from your end, but I have worked with nearly 600 moms postpartum and have
gotten a pretty good feel for what they are going through. What you wrote
fits very few moms, actually. One of the biggest fears moms have is that
they won't mother properly and the last thing any mother wants to do is
underfeed a helpless little baby. She very much has her attention on her
baby but she has so much conflicting information coming from all directions
that she doesn't know what to listen to. humans were meant to learn these
things from our mothers, sisters, aunts, etc. trusted and familiar family
members and friends. Often she may be depressed but usually she doesn't
answer the phone because we tell her to sleep when the baby does, or she is
trying to eat and bathe and sleep between feedings and failing at that
because of visitors, appointments, and just exhaustion. We must remember
that we must mother the mother and she will very likely mother her baby very
well with a little help. Make their lives easier? I have seen many moms get
up with endless patience trying to figure out what the baby wants even
though she may have painful incisions, cracked coccyx, incapacitating edema,
engorgement and confusion and fear surrounding all these issues. I think a
postpartum doula in cases where there is not enough help for moms home alone
with a new baby in conjunction with lactation consultant is the very best
scenario and this should be our first focus.
Vicky York, IBCLC, CPD
Postpartum Care Services
www.spiritone.com/~vmyork/
It sounds like you have given this mom good information. She has to want =
to breastfeed as much as you want her to do so. She also has to want to =
mother properly, and feed the baby enough. I don't know how you make =
someone want to pay more attention to their child and feed her enough.=20
My other thought is that so many moms just seem to gravitate to bottle =
feeding. I think the formula industry has done an excellant job selling =
their product. Even if mom is using human milk, she is sold on bottles =
as a way to make her life easier.
I also get moms who do not seem to want to feed their baby enough. These =
cases are very frustrating. I try to call back in 24-48 hours to double =
check on the mom and I will send a HCP report on just a phone call if I =
am worried enough. Since I work for WIC, I will also get the =
nutritionist or the Peer Counselor to try to call mom back -- but =
frankly, many of these moms do not answer the phone when we call (they =
all seem to have Caller ID) and if we get their answering machine, they =
do not call us back.=20
A mother who seems to be unable to care properly for her child may be =
depressed.=20
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