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Date: | Sat, 1 Oct 2005 19:37:05 -0400 |
Content-Type: | text/plain |
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> At first I suspected that the hospital style method of "helping"
> breastfeeding had derailed attachment. Baby would go to breast and
> scream, arch
> back, and refuse. The mother does have grade I inverted nipples, which
> will
> protrude after stimulation. This baby quickly became overwhelmed when
> placed s2s
> on mother's chest. No way would he even approach the breast. She told me
> that
> he didn't even want to be held by her at times.
In watching these babies, I've come to the conclusion that sometimes they
are not really refusing the breast (which is how we see it, because we are
so focused on getting them nursing!) but expressing their emotions about the
whole birth experience in the only way they know how. I can't prove this,
but after watching a lot of babies who have been through rather traumatic
births, many of them seem to behave this way. I think that it is when they
feel they are in a "safe place" - in other words, on mother's chest - they
finally feel safe enough to express all the pent-up distress they have from
the birth.
So they need to arch and scream and flail around, and they need their mother
to listen to those emotions and talk soothingly and stroke them and continue
talking in a reassuring voice. And maybe cry with the baby, because she
probably has some feelings about the birth too! Often the mothers either
want to stop the crying (with a bottle or soother or vigorous rocking) or
they feel rejected and give the baby to someone else or put him down in a
crib (and comment that he stops crying when he's in the crib). But if she
can be there for him through these intense emotions, often the baby
eventually calms down and is then ready to nurse (some will calm down, nap,
and wake up again ready to nurse).
I tell the mothers that this behaviour is in fact an expression of the
baby's feelings of trust and safety with her, not a rejection or desire not
to be with her.
Again, I have no proof of this - just my own observations and my (I admit)
largely intuitive sense of what the babies seem to be doing.
Teresa Pitman
Guelph, Ontario
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