Lisa wrote:
Nursing mom is a childcare provider to toddlers. She was told by the
counselor to one of the children's siblings that breastfeeding in front of
the children is traumatizing them and causing them grief because they are
young and experiencing their first separation from their mothers. One of
the children has recently begun nursing (because of her experince of
watching the care giver nurse) and the others have varied histories of being
nursed, (some have either asked to nurse again or are nursing their dolls)
some quite briefly, all with some breast time. One child is adopted from
abroad and spent a year in an orphanage and does have attachment issues
which the family is actively addressing. I have never looked at this from
such a perspective. Any ideas?
The first thing I think of is broadening the argument: this is not just
about breastfeeding, it's about mothering. One could make the same argument that
since these children are newly separated from their mothers and cannot be held
by them, this woman should not be able to hold her infant either. The only
reason a child would be ''traumatized' by seeing another nurse, is if they
were forcibly and prematurely weaned, in my opinion. A gently weaned toddler
might be curious while watching another child nurse and even interested in
beginning again but that is not the same as being traumatized.
If the nursling is a toddler there can surely be ways to gently discuss how
different families make different decisions, and show respect and care, in the
same way that a childcare place serving milk would be respectful and have
something else for a child with a dairy problem. If the nursling is a newborn,
the toddlers can be helped to understand that babies need things that
toddlers don't. Of course if they are young toddlers I agree they might actually
need to have continued nursing, then we are talking family's own feelings about
their premature wearning decisions coming out as anger, or 'trauma" talk...
Peace,
Judy, leaving for a lovely retreat with women friends...:)
Judy LeVan Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL, Brooklyn, USA
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