Katie, I LOVE your idea! Although maybe not very practical, I think it
would be effective. I have been struggling for the past 2 weeks with this
very topic. My good friend and neighbor gave birth to a beautiful baby boy
on Halloween at 9:30 in the morning. She has been saying for months, even
before her pregnancy, that she would give breastfeeding another try because
she has me for support now. (Her now 5 year old was only bf for 2 weeks due
to lack of support, going back to work - all *her* explanations) SO, I (in
the role of friend) saw her and the baby at 6 hours old. When I asked how
nursing was going, she said he was already a pro, and it was so much easier
than with her first. I gave her some words of encouragement, and upon
noticing a pacifier (still unopened) on the table, explained about
artificial nipples. Oh, I should say that her husband is NOT supportive in
ANY way - in the past he's made comments such as, 'What's so great about
breastmilk - formula is just as good'. And, more recently, to his wife,
'Why even bother trying to breastfeed this time, (son #1) turned out fine?'.
Ok, back to my friend - She came home the next morning, and I took food, and
asked how nursing was going, she had some questions, nothing too major. Her
husband had her working that day (she does the accounting for his business).
On Tuesday I sat for 20 minutes with the baby while she went to vote. While
I was there, I noticed the pacifier was on the bedstand and opened.On
Wednesday, her husband came home and asked her 'what she did all day' since
she was supposed to paint their doors.By Wednesday night she had stopped
breastfeeding. SIGH. I didn't know this until 3 days later though. I was
over there to drop something off on Thursday, and stood in their kitchen and
talked to them both for about 20 minutes or so, baby no where in sight, and
I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have heard him had he cried. My 5 year old
was playing there on Friday and called to ask me a question, while I was
talking to her, she told me to hold on so she could go and get my friend (in
the basement), because the baby was crying (2 floors up). On Saturday night
we went over there for dinner. When I walked in he was in a carseat behind
one of the doors in another room, as they had been painting all day! She
casually said, 'Oh, we're not breastfeeding anymore - it's just not
convenient'. You could have knocked me over with a feather. She then
proceeded to heat a bottle of water in the micro, fill it with Enfamil
powder and shove it in his mouth. I was sooo upset I could hardly stand it.
She wanted me to hold him while she did something, so I did, and he
immediately started to root on me. I was demonstrating how to use a sling
(at her request), and again, he rooted on me. Her husband stood by watching
me with the sling, and said, 'Why exactly do you need that thing?'
She did say she was trying to breastfeed once a day still, but didn't know
how long that would last. I asked why she didn't just pump her milk, and
give that to him in a bottle? Her reponse was that it would take too much
time. Her husband commented that she was no longer breastfeeding because
"HE" had to get some sleep, and with a bottle, the baby would sleep through
the night.
By the time dinner was over, I HAD to get out of there. I told my husband
to stay and socialize, but that I was taking our girls home to bed. I was
almost in tears and I knew I didn't want to say anything that would offend
them. They are friends, and our 5 y/os play together ALL the time.
I felt like a complete failure. I mean, I had done everything I could to
encourage and support her since the beginning of her pregnancy. She's seen
the Ad Campaign signs, I gave her my copy of The Womanly Art (at her
request), she seems to just think that formula is 'just as good'. And,
considering the nurse at the hospital told her to supplement on day one so
she could 'get some sleep', WHY IS THIS SOOOO HARD for people to get?????
Ok, sorry for the rant, but I've been suppressing this hurt for a couple of
weeks. Thanks for listening.
Joi
LLL in Utah
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