Nikki Lee shared stories of two moms who called the BF hotline.  Nikki's
initial assumptions were not borne out *at all* by the true situation.  I,
too, was recently "brought up short" by my own preconceptions -- and in my
smug moments, I fancy myself a rather open-minded, well-educated IBCLC.
Sigh.  So much for smugness.

In my case, I was working at the local hospital when I heard of a
14-year-old who had just delivered a baby.  RNs told me there were all sorts
of family members in the L&D room.

The assumptions that flashed through my mind -- almost at a subconcius level
-- as I walked down the hall:  Mom would be too embarrassed to nurse in
front of others.  Her youth meant body image issues that would inhibit BF.
She had little or no pre-natal education about BF.  She would be overwhelmed
by bossy and pushy relatives who would want to take over the care of the
infant ....  etc. etc.

Of course, I was dead wrong.  I walked in to see a rather shell-shocked
looking Mom (after all -- she did just give birth), holding a wrapped but
actively cueing baby in her arms.  Yes -- the room was FULL of people: the
Mom's own mom, step-dad, brother (who cut cord), dad, girlfirend-of-dad, and
"a family friend."  (No sign of baby's father)  I quietly asked Mom if she
felt comfortable nursing her baby with everyone in the room.  She said,
"Sure," and started to undo the gown's shoulder snaps without the blink of
an eye.

Maternal grandma sidles over to the bed ("Uh-oh," I think.  "Here goes.")
New-Grandma tells me she BF her own kids (including this one).  She proceeds
to offer *perfect* support for her daughter: loving words of encouragement
as Mom and Baby awkwardly attempt a first BF.  No taking over or touching;
no judgmental comments.  Other family members stand back a bit, but offer
their own words of encouragement.  After several false starts, Baby and Mom
settle in for a wonderful feed.  Mom still *looks* a bit stunned and
overwhelmed by the whole scenario, but her body language with the baby is
capable and comfortable.

Yes, Mom and Baby continued to BF beautifully during their short hospital
stay.

(New-Grandma filled me in on some history.  When New-Grandma learned her 14
y.o. daughter [our Mom in this story] was sexually active, she immediately
took her in for an OB visit and b.c. pill prescription.   Mom complained of
stomach aches and vomiting in the first month, and went off the pill.  You
guessed it:  She was *already* 10 weeks pregnant when she first visited the
O.B. !!  Mom and New-Grandma both learned at the same time that Mom was
pregnant -- at 27 weeks gestation -- when Mom's tummy suddenly "popped out,"
and the wheels of suspicion start turning.  Mom squeezed in pre-natal
classes -- incl. BF instruction -- in the next few weeks before delivery).

It was a humbling moment for me, to see how wrong I had been in my
assumptions.

Liz Brooks, JD, IBCLC
Wyndmoor, PA, USA

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