Gloria, thanks for your comments on this issue, which also concerns me,
greatly.

I think, right now, we are still in the period where women are fighting to
prove that they can hang in there with the men, after a long period of
fighting to achieve the same opportunities to serve.  As much as I would
like to see it, I don't think the military, in general, is prepared to make
distinctions at this point in time.  In fact, it is felt by many that great
concessions have already been made, by reducing the amount of time new
mothers can be on unaccompanied duty (it was less than 50 years ago that my
father was gone for 15 months at once, during peace time!).

On one hand, having grown up just accepting that the Marine Corps and
country came before family, and that the children of military men were also
expected to make significant sacrifices, I probably have more patience with
the military on this issue than most people would.  On the other hand, I
also have a special interest in the welfare of military children.  Not being
breastfed and, even moreso, not having mother around at all for an extended
period, amount to major tragedies for a child.  This is especially true for
any child who is too young to understand why mother is leaving (which would
be hard for any child, but one too young to understand why a parent is
leaving experiences the separation as a death).

I think, at this point in time, the best that can be done is for women who
consider military careers to be encouraged to realistically consider the
fact that it may mean being away from even young babies, and is very likely
to interfere with breastfeeding.  Of course, the mother's specific job in
the military makes a difference.  Also, women often have an idea of when
they are likely to be called to serve in a situation where they may have to
leave a child, and can try to plan their pregnancies around that.
Unfortunately, with things as they are in the world, there are no
guarantees, and anyone can be deployed on short notice.  For that reason, I
have known women who have just chosen to put off having children until they
were out of the military.

I am afraid that, at this point in time, I just don't know what the answer
to this question is.  I can see it from both the mothers/babies side and
from the military's side.  Most women whose husbands are active duty do not
want to see their children's father serving more unaccompanied duty, because
some woman in the same job is getting out of the same duty, because she has
a baby.  I know that there are other countries which have more
baby/breastfeeding friendly policies.  I don't if any of them is actually
comparable enough to the situation here in the USA, to work here, but
looking and what is done in other countries would certainly be interesting,
and perhaps lead us to some kind of specific proposal that could be made.

I am doing lots of rambling and not coming up with much here, but I would
love to hear others' ideas.  I know we have talked about this on Lactnet
before, but it has been a while, I think.

Aloha,
Darillyn

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