Priscilla T. did not cause this mother's hurt.  The mother is hurting
because of her own loss.  It is really vital that professionals with such
scars become aware of how they are marked by them before they start working
with mothers learning to breastfeed.  One of the strongest arguments for how
important breastfeeding is, is that such experiences are so very painful,
and it may help this nurse to have that acknowledged.

I put one spin on information if I am speaking to new mothers and another if
I am speaking to people who will be helping new mothers in a professional
capacity.  There is more emphasis on the caring and helping stuff in the
mothers' version, and more emphasis on facts in the professional one, though
the core doesn't really change.  Priscilla recognized that this professional
was very much a new mother, and I am guessing that her wish to ease this
person's pain springs from the way she would care for a new mother.  The
wish is an admirable one, however incompatible it may have been with the
purpose of the teaching session.

Reading Diane W's fabulous piece 'Watch your language', clarifying the
difference between guilt and regret, and guilt and anger, is well worth the
short time it takes.  It is at
http://www.het.brown.edu/people/kjp/stuff/watch_your_language.htm

Good luck to you, Priscilla, in establishing a healing contact with this
colleague.
Rachel Myr (BTDT and also failed miserably on more than one occasion)
Kristiansand, Norway

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html