Fio asks if there is a gentle way to approach this in a case she describes.
First, the only way to approach it is 'gently'.
Since you know that she has had a stillbirth, it is appropriate to make a
condolence call or visit (which you do depends of course on your
relationship to her).  Since you are a breastfeeding person, it's natural to
inquire about whether she is having any physical discomfort from her
breasts.  That would possibly give an opening to ask about whether she has
opted to take medication to suppress lactation.  If she has not, and if she
is experiencing leaking/engorgement, you could let her know that *some
mothers* have chosen to donate milk after a stillbirth for as long as they
feel the need, and take it from there.
There may not be anyone else in her surroundings who asks whether she's
having problems related to lactation, and she will definitely appreciate
hearing from you in any case.  I have never heard of a mother who lost a
baby, who disliked having people show they cared about her loss.
Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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