Pat Gima's post about working hard reminded me of something I tell
mothers with difficult to latch babies.  I tell them that this is baby's
first lesson that some things are worth working for.  We talk about how
some day this baby is going to have to learn calculus, or  physics, and
that having this experience is going to help him then.

I also realize that mothers sometimes have limited resources, whether
financial, emotional, or  temporal, and that they can only work on any
challenge until those resources are depleted.  If moms need to stop
working toward solving a bf problem, we talk about this.  I encourage
them to grieve the loss of bf, and to credit themselves for the work
they did, understanding that they worked as hard as their resources at
this time would let them.  I find that this approach is both truthful
for me, and helpful for the mothers, who are able to talk about their
ambivalent feelings and resolve them.  Many moms in my practice who were
not able to climb over their breastfeeding obstacles with their first
baby were able to get there with their second.  I think if we twist the
knife in their wound by calling them failures, these moms will not be
able to heal.  The moms with these festering wounds are the ones
crusading against the breastfeeding that hurt them.
Catherine Watson Genna, BS, IBCLC  NYC

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