Re how to approach mom about possibility of donating milk.  Yes,
this should be offered to the mom, in my opinion.  Moms often ask
what to do when their milk comes in.  If they don't ask, it
certainly should be part of their postpartum teaching.  How about
something like this?

"Your body doesn't know the baby died, so your milk will still come
in after a few days.  Some moms find this is a difficult time while
others see it as reaffirmation that they did have a baby.  There are
several ways to cope with the physical and emotional reactions at
this time.  (We no longer give medicines to "dry up" the milk
because of concern over some serious potential side effects.)  Some
mothers simply wear a firm bra and wait through a few days of
physical discomfort.  Some find this too uncomfortable and would
rather experience less discomfort even though it may take longer for
the breasts to stop completely.  These moms can express enough milk
to relieve their discomfort.  There are milk banks that collect
human milk for use by babies who need it and for some reason their
mothers are not able to provide what baby needs.  For some mothers
who have experienced the loss of a baby, donating their milk to such
a milk bank is a way to cope with the temporary physical discomfort
and may even be a way of helping with the emotional healing.  It is
like donating organs or tissue from a deceased loved one so someone
else can benefit.  If this is something you'd like to consider, I
can give you information on how to proceed.  I know you are probably
overwhelmed at this point, so take a little time to consider your
options."

Winnie

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