Moms whose babies are diagnosed with potentially fatal conditions, prior to
birth, are another high risk group.  The story of my daughter, Julia, is a
very good example. Her birth parents were married, 20 years old, and had
planned the pregnancy.  At some point, bmom started feeling that something
was wrong with the baby.  At the end of her second tri, an ultrasound
diagnosis of congenital diaphragmatic hernia was made, and parents were
informed that baby may not survive birth, and would definitely require very
major surgery, which may or may not save her life.

By the time of Julia's birth, at 39 weeks, parents had obviously withdrawn
from her emotionally.  Hernia repair went extremely well.  However, Julia
did not thrive.  Bparents continued to keep their distance, spending very
little time with her, and never holding her.  Julia became a classic FTT.
Fundoplication was done and also gastrostomy installed, before two months of
age.  By four months old, Julia had only gained a pound and a half.  Birth
parents took her home for the first time, feeding by gastrostomy.  Julia
screamed constantly and vomited her tube feedings.  She was returned to the
hospital, dehydrated and having lost several ounces.  At this point, birth
parents were at their wits' end and decided to relinquish parental rights.
Julia was placed in an attentive foster home, for ten weeks, followed by
adoptive placement with us.  She did have some physiological problems, from
the CDH, but her mental and emotional problems were more serious. She was
very much like a baby who had spent its early life lying in an orphanage in
an impoverished country, with very. Attachment parenting techniques,
including getting her bottlefeeding well, with aspects of breastfeeding
incorporated into that and, later, getting her breastfeeding, turned her
into a different child.  She is now 12 years old, and a mature, confident,
capable, and very special young lady.

Although I know that the bmom was already keeping her distance, emotionally,
before Julia was born, I believe that, had she been encouraged and helped to
pump her milk, and later breastfeed Julia, and told how essential her milk
was to her sick baby's survival and recovery, that this married couple, who
wanted to be parents, would not have ever thought of placing their baby for
adoption.  While I will be eternally grateful for the opportunity of having
her as my daughter, I can't help but grieve for them.  I also know that
there are many similar stories out there.

Darillyn







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