There has been SO many good points brought up on this topic recently that I
don't think I could fit it all on one post, so I will do it a little at a
time!

I really appreciated Barbara's comments:

"I HATE the "blame the victim" invectives that imply that either
these women didn't try hard enough, didn't believe deeply enough, or that
their helpers (us!)  didn't plant enough positive suggestions and in some
way undermined the process."

Having not only worked with hundreds of other adoptive moms, but nursed six
adopted babies myself, I know how disheartening such an attitude can be!

What I have seen has been that women in western cultures who go into it
believing that a large milk supply is likely to be achieved are generally
NOT more likely to produce a larger milk supply than those who believe that
supplementation is usually needed. However, they ARE more likely to view
their experience negatively, and to wean earlier.

In my experience, it is often the adoptive mom who believes that it is
common to have a smaller milk supply who is the most likely to hang in there
long enough eventually be able to wean from the supplementer, and continue
nursing for a significant period of time without it, regardless of the
actual amount of milk she is producing.  This is because such a mom has
learned to take joy in the act of nurturing her baby at the breast, and to
value every ounce of liquid gold her breasts produce, while someone who
expects to produce alot more milk can miss out on alot of the joy, because
she not only sees the same milk volume (or even alot less) as inadequate,
but has generally focused much more of her attention on milk production.
This is especially true if, as we see very often with mothers who use
induced lactation methods that require medical intervention, the mother has
gotten into the habit of spending alot of time pumping, at the expense of
nursing.

I feel that nurturing at the breast is the single most important part of
breastfeeding an adopted baby.  I also believe that it is far more
beneficial for a child to be able to recieve some amount of breast milk,
with supplementation, over a long period of time, than to recieve
nothing but breast milk for a short period.  I encourage those who have the
opportunity to counsel an adoptive mom to look beyond the logistics of
actual milk production, to the rest of the picture.  As with any group of
mothers, there are some adoptive mothers who are so determined to establish
a long-term nursing relationship with their babies that they will refuse to
give up until they achieve it, but also many for whom the advice they are
given by a breastfeeding counselor can make the difference between little,
or no, nursing, and a situation where the adopted child will recieve the
multiple benefits of breastfeeding until he takes the lead in weaning from
the breast, whether that is one year or four (or more).

Best Wishes,
Darillyn





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