Annie relates a story where she helped a mother with a screaming baby:
<< The mom said 'she cries all the time, she has for 11 weeks" this was her
third baby. I asked to hold her. I got her, walked away from the crowd, did
not have a blanket with which to swaddle her so I held her really close to my
chest, on her side with a pretty fast jiggle and shhshhshhed her for 3
minutes. She slept peacefully in my arms for more than an hour!! It was
really nice!>>
The only thing that concerns me in this story is the fact that someone -a total stranger?- was able to calm this mom's baby when she apparently couldn't! That doesn't say much for empowering the mother. I almost *never* take a baby out of it's mothers arms to calm it. Unless I can see that she
needs the break because she is overwhelmed. I then always put the baby back in mom's arms asap, and talk to mom about how to calm baby herself. I do this for 2 reasons. One is that, as I said, calming a baby yourself when a mom can't doesn't do much for her self-confidence in caring for her baby
unless you do lots of explaining and encouraging, ie "baby can sense when you're really upset or tense and might be a little crankier" while helping the mom to relax. The second reason is that I *know* that I am not who the baby wants. The baby would prefer his/her own mother, albeit perhaps a
more relaxed or calm mother! I've posted about my own separation experience as a baby, so you'll know why I feel so strongly about this. I believe it is *always* best to try to impart calming, soothing techniques while wrapping mom into the process, not replacing her. It's the "teaching someone
to plant their own seeds" wisdom, rather than just handing them a loaf of bread. I'm glad we have some new books for parents that teach kinder, gentler ways of managing night waking issues and the like, but this story made me sad for a mom who might feel a little less of a mother because someone
else calmed her baby where she had obviously failed for 11 weeks! I will assume that, during the hour of your holding her baby, you imparted your newfound wisdom about how this technique worked to this haggard mom! ;-)
Marsha, who is taking 2 weeks off to canoe in Canada, then send my only living son off to the Army while celebrating our national Independence Day! Whew, what a 2 weeks it's going to be.... Indiana, USA
Marsha Glass RN, BSN, IBCLC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~John S. C. Abbot~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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