Sarah Tanner wrote: "I am currently taking an online course "Women in
Contemporary Society". This week, the topic of breastfeeding was brought up
(by myself) in a discussion regarding breast cancer and prevention ideas.
The responses to breastfeeding from the class have left me unsure of how to
respond."

Your sensitivity is admirable, Sarah. Here are a few of my thoughts on this
challenging situation. First, have you read Diane Wiessinger's article,
"Watch your language," available online at:
http://geocities.com/Heartland/8529/BF/language.html? One issue the article
covers is guilt. Guilt in breastfeeding (and mothering) is far more a
cultural issue than it is personal one. Nonetheless, guilt is experienced
very personally by women. Culturally created guilt gives rise to culturally
created defensiveness. People understandably try to protect themselves when
they are hurting. In the context of breastfeeding, women often do not
recognize that they didn't fail themselves or their children. Society
failed them. Where were their role models so they could learn about the
normalcy and goodness and techniques of breastfeeding while growing up?
What media images skewed their understanding of the value of their breasts
and of the needs of their babies? Who gave them inaccurate information?
None of these life experiences are a mother's fault--or the fault of a
breastfeeding counselor.

A woman comes to a breastfeeding counseling encounter with her own personal
and cultural heritage. This heritage filters and interprets the experience
of that encounter. Reality is not an absolute fact--it is culturally and
personally created. An LC or LLL Leader can accept that validity of a
mother's perceptions and feelings while accepting the validity of her own
as well. She can convey that acceptance by such statements as "What a
difficult experience." Or "It sounds like you had a hard time finding
support and information that worked for you." Or "I can see that you feel
very strongly about your experience." Or... Several dominant cultural
beliefs found in Western and westernized societies poorly match the biology
of breastfeeding (see my article, "The cultural art of breastfeeding" on
the publications page of my website, http://home.attbi.com/~ammawell). So
it makes sense that certain aspects of breastfeeding information and
support may be perceived as unhelpful by some mothers in some situations.
The experience of unhelpfulness and judgment may reflect the fact that the
information and support challenged culturally based beliefs. That is a
confusing experience, in the very least. It can also be a painful
experience for mothers who have been culturally trained to respond to that
challenge by feeling guilty. The more aware the breastfeeding counselor is
of the role of culture in breastfeeding, the more effectively she can
respond to a mother's culturally based beliefs, needs, and behaviors.

It is exceedingly difficult to hear, much less understand and use, new
information until an opportunity is provided for unspent emotion to be
expressed, heard and accepted. So a first step may be to help that emotion
be further expressed while conveying that you have heard.

Warmly,

Cynthia

Cynthia Good Mojab, MS Clinical Psychology
(Breastfeeding mother, advocate, independent [cross-cultural] researcher
and author; LLL Leader and Research Associate in the LLLI Publications
Department; and former psychotherapist currently busy nurturing her own
little one.)
Ammawell
Email: [log in to unmask]
Web site: http://home.attbi.com/~ammawell

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