I have been following this thread and wasn't going to get into it until
an experience yesterday.

First, let me say that I will do everything I can to help an employed
mom to continue breastfeeding.  I acknowledge at the start that the
information I give is not based on personal experience.  I state "I was
fortunate that I was able to stay home with my children.  I only went to
nursing school when my youngest entered middle school ( 6th grade)."  My
point is that some moms feel pressured to work outside the home even if
it isn't a financial necessity.  They have often gotten the message that
"real women" don't stay at home all day "doing nothing but child care".
The pendulum appears to be swining back a little from that viewpoint,
but it is still out there.  Sometimes, our voice may be only one that
says, in effect, "Staying at home to mother your children is a
meaningful, valuable career."  Very often I will se a new mom that says
"I haven't decided yet" when asked if she will be working outside the
home.  I see a lot os second time moms who report that "this time" they
plan to stay home with their babies.  I do feel we can and should strike
a balance between not putting down the mom who works outside the home
and letting her know that "real women do stay home and raise their
children".  In fact we may be the only ones to tell her it's OK to be so
attached to your baby you can't bear the thought of leaving him/her with
someone else while you go to another job.

The incident I mentioned was a discussion at a committee meeting
yesterday.  The representative from our sister hospital wasn't there.
The others at the meeting were saying it was because she had to cover
for another worker who had "really done a bad thing".  She had realized
at the last minute that she couldn't bear to leave her new baby and the
day before she was scheduled to return to work, she called and said she
would not be back after all.  Now I realize that this was certainly
short notice.  However, when a mom has to stay home with a sick child,
that is short notice also.  The closer she came to leaving her baby, the
more she realized the baby needed her there.  I was secretly saying to
myself. "You go girl!".  What I said to the others was, "Yes some moms
find it hard to leave their babies and for some they don't realize just
how hard it will be until it comes down to the wire.  Unfortunately, one
of the other 3 people at the meeting was one who couldn't wait to get
back to work and away from the "demands" of her baby.  She made no bones
about expressing this, but I think what I said did hit a familiar note
with the other 2.

It's all about balance.   Let a mom know the potential effects of either
decision, let her know she may has choices, then help her have the best
experience based on the choices she makes.

Winnie Mading

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