I address this in all my prenatal classes as well as in talking to
newly delivered moms after asking if they have any plans that
involve using a breast pump.  I hear that comment from maybe half of
the new moms.
In class, I have a slide indicating all the ways Dad can be involved
with baby other than directly feeding.

 Among the things they can do are,  play with, sing to, rock,
cuddle, burp, change (note this isn't first on the list) or bathe
baby.  I really encourage Dads to take over the bathing.  I point
out that just like learning to nurse, it may feel a little awkward
at first, but with a little practice, it becomes a very enjoyable
time for both baby and the bather.  In addition I also discuss the
indirect ways dad is important to baby such as helping mom with the
physical work around the house, limiting visitors, running
interference with those who may be prone to undermine mom's
confidence.

I sometimes relate the experience of a couple families where mom had
severe postpartum complications and was on strict bedrest.  Mom
didn't want to miss out on breastfeeding, however, so dad stayed in
the room and did everything for the baby except the actual feeds.
When asked, in both cases dads readily stated that they had more
"hands on" time with baby than mom did.

Of course, these comments do fall on deaf ears some of the time when
a couple has already firmly made up their mind that both WILL be
feeding baby.  I'm sure if there was a way to do it, dad would carry
the baby for half the pregnancy!  However, I have also had parents
that say they hadn't thought about it that way and will at least
consider not giving bottles for these reasons.

Winnie Mading

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