>We all make sacrifices. For some of us, marriage, raising children or
>any one of many other things is not seen as a sacrifice at all, or is
>not a big deal. For many others, it is a difficult road...
>All mothers need complete and correct information and sensitive support.
>They need to find out what their options are... not just choices from a
>narrow field of "shoulds" based on a partial understanding of their
>situations.

Well said!  I think we tend to understand our own situations, tolerances,
and needs just fine.  What we're not so clear on is the other person's.
Same with a mother and her baby.  She knows herself; her baby is an unknown
that becomes known to her through a lot of cultural interpretation as well
as through direct observation.  If we can offer a mother an explanation of
her baby's needs and abilities and limits that's as free of cultural bias as
we can make it, then *she* can take it from there.  She needs to know the
effect of birth medications, of separation at various stages, of bottles,
formula, nighttime arrangements, whatever.  Nothing guarantees or destroys a
nursing relationship all on its own, and the balancing act can be whatever
she needs it to be, so long as she understands the relative risks.  Is she
terrified of pain?  All the more important that she keep her baby with her
following this inevitably medicated birth.  And so on.

I picture a flat, stiff, irregularly-shaped, irregularly-weighted "map" that
represents a particular mother's many parameters (that may change as she
gains information).  It will balance on the tip of a stick, like a juggler's
plate, only at a certain point, and that point is going to be different for
each mother's "map".  She's the one holding the stick and trying to find the
balance-point; our only job is to help her outline and weight her map.
Tough work, when we know exactly where our own map balances...

Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC  Ithaca, NY
www.wiessinger.baka.com

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