Diane, I think what you are saying here is very important. There is the
"getting milk into the baby" aspect of breastfeeding - which is important -
but there is also the mother-baby relationship that becomes the foundation
for parenting throughout childhood.

Diane wrote: Mothers can use any of many bfing
styles (even Ezzo) for 6 months and the baby will put up with it because
it's his food source and he has no choice.  But once he has other foods, if
the mom's approach has been too controlling, he'll sidestep into solids and
get out from under the burden of having to negotiate for nursings.  Let's
raise the bar to at least a year:  are there bfing styles that tend to get
in the way of nursing for a year?  I think there are.  I got calls from two
such mothers last week.  Both planned to nurse for a year, both are down to
2-3 Feedings per day at 8 or 9 months, one of the babies refuses to nurse
more often.

I see this situation fairly frequently, and it makes me as sad as it does
you. I remember one baby whose mother said she wanted to nurse for a year,
but who was trying to hold him off between feedings with a pacifier, and who
was concerned about spoiling her baby so showed him little affection. Even
at three or four months, he nursed in an odd way, trying to arch his body as
far away as possible from her so that only his mouth touched her. I had
never seen anything quite like it. As soon as he was finished eating, he
would let go and pull away from her. (Of course, he had never been allowed
to fall asleep at the breast, so this may have been his way of pre-empting
being pulled off.) He had weaned completely within a few weeks of starting
solids - his mother couldn't believe how eagerly he took to other foods.

You will perhaps not be surprised to hear that at age 4 this child is known
as the terror of his junior kindergarten class.

Teresa Pitman
Guelph, Ontario

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