I've spent most of my professional life as a NICU nurse and. now, as a
lactation consultant, devote much of my time to working with NICU moms. These
families are under great stress. They can be very frightened of becoming
attached to their baby,  but if they do not bond, the long term care of the
child is in jeopardy. Even when we fear that the infant is not going to make
it we encourage parental attachment and try to foster it in any way that we
can., including helping mothers to express milk. Studies have shown that
grief is even more prolonged and agonizing for mothers who do not bond.
Providing milk is the one thing a mother and only the mother in the NICU can
do. Beyond the compelling health benefits, it is immensely empowering for
mothers. Even when an infant dies I have never heard a mother express regret
over providing milk and even when a mother is unable to produce milk (and
unfortunately this does happen sometimes,) I have never heard a mother
express regret for trying.

I don't consider myself a zealot but I am passionate about helping our NICU
moms provide milk for their infants. It is the most satisfying thing I have
done in my nursing career.  It takes an army to keep these tiny babies alive.
The necessary high tech can go on while the mother makes milk.  When all is
said and done and the baby is out of immediate jeopardy, adequate nutrition
can be the most difficult last step.
We need to acknowledge the overwhelming fear a mother feels and then we need
to help her make that first tiny step to attachment by helping her to pump.
And no flames please, if a mother is unable or unwilling to provide milk we
support her every bit as much.

Kathy Boggs, RN, IBCLC
Mountain View, CA

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