I'm behind on my Lactnets so someone may have addressed this previously.  If
so, please forgive me.  I've been off for a few days spending time with my
21 year old daughter, who is home for the first time in 1 ½ years (and who
is also living proof that the "high needs" child is an  intelligent one and
will do well as an adult.!)  I see we're back on the topic of what to call
formula.  This talk makes me uncomfortable for one reason.  It sounds so
judgmental of the mother who chooses bottle feeding to call what she feeds
her baby "artificial".   Surely we will never get her to try breastfeeding
if we come across that way!   I've been doing this long enough to remember
when all LLL people were considered militant and generally distasteful to
the public, at least in my town, where I was a leader for 10 years. ( Oh,
yeah, this reputation preceded me! LOL).  This was probably because of a few
people who presented themselves in just this way.  However, it didn't do the
cause of breastfeeding any good for people to think we were judgmental,
preachy, better-than-thou's.  I, for one, am enormously proud of how far our
cause has come and the recognition we get as professionals and
para-professionals.  We have overcome a lot and, from my vantage point, had
to live down a lot, because a few individuals were too zealous.  I am of a
mind with Barbara Wilson-Clay, who has written so eloquently many times of
the value of creating a dialogue wherein all participants feel valued.  We
simply cannot make a difference by beating people over the head with our
values and beliefs (even if they are factual) or by calling names.  As
someone-I think it was BWC-said, everyone knows what you mean when you say
"formula".  Calling anything "artificial" will put someone off before a
conversation ever gets started, because there is a connotation accompanying
that term.  Just like amputees who would rather you refer to their appendage
as a prosthesis than an "artificial limb", even though there's no disputing
that that's what it is.

I want to help moms be better moms.  That's my bottom line.  I think
breastfeeding is the perfect way to facilitate that.  However, I also
believe that a baby whose mom  chooses to bottle feed still deserves the
best mom they can have and to help that process, I must treat the mom with
respect.  I do her baby no favors if I do otherwise.  I have not encouraged
this baby's  mother to be the best mother she can be if I come across as
judgmental of the fact that she is not breastfeeding or is supplementing.
In such an atmosphere, nothing I say will carry any weight with her.   I
hope we can all be sensitive to the fact that most moms do what they do
thinking it is best for their child, and then base our help on that premise.
After all, we've all made mistakes in parenting.

Marsha, who is coming off here soapbox now, breathless....

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~~~~~~~
Marsha Glass RN, BSN, IBCLC, but was first a LLLL!
Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations
as all other earthly causes combined.
                                John S. C. Abbot
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~~~~~~~

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