I am so frustrated at the moment.  Worked with a very young mom who
had a 35 week baby in NICU.  I was there for her first time at
breast.  Baby did the most beautiful job of nursing I have ever seen
in so small a baby!  Mom was very pleased and was concerned that
baby get only her milk and hopefully no bottles.  I covered about
half the teaching info we cover and arranged to meet with her in the
NICU the next day to finish.  She came in beaming about how much
milk she had pumped.  We went into the feeding room and Dad (whom I
had never met before) came along.  Baby was a little overwhelmed
with the firm breast when we first tried to get her latched,
Immediately, Dad was saying "She doesn't want to.  Her face is red.
I thought you weren't going to do that any more.  I told you when
you first got pregnant that if you breastfed your tits would hurt.
Now get a bottle so I can feed her."  I took a deep breath and
started to point out other ways in which he could be involved in
baby's care.  He only continued berating the mom.  I continued to
try to help her get baby latched and suggested she pump again to
make the breasts a little softer.  She just sighed and said "No,
just get me the milk I brought in and we'll give it by bottle.  I'll
just pump and give my milk by bottle so he can feed her."  I was
tempted to launch into a lytany of all the things he was increasing
baby's risk for as well as Mom's increased risks if she didn't
nurse, but I could feel the resentment on his part that I was even
there at all, so I bit my tougue, left the room and reported to the
baby's nurse.  Whe rolled her eyes and said "Damn! Why can't he stay
out of it?"  Mom came out a couple minutes later to get the bottle
and reported that she would not be breastfeeding unless she only did
it when he wasn't around.  When I think of the moms with babies in
the NICU ( and very supportive fathers) at the same time that are
struggling to get their babies to nurse effectively and this poor
mom/baby who was doing so well is sabotaged by this so-and-so who
will probably lose interest in giving the bottle in a short time,
but long enough that reestablishing breastfeeding would be a great
challenge.
AARRGGHH!!!
Winnie, IBCLC

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