There are some other points that can be added to this discussion. As
well as breasts as sexual objects being a sociocultural construction,
the way sexuality is constructed is also problematic. I think that is
where some of the heated disagreement is coming from. Perhaps a
healthier view of sexuality could allow women to enjoy their breasts
both in sex and in breastfeeding without feeling that what they were
doing in either case was "yucky" or "icky" -- I'm thinking of the
feelings that abused women sometimes have about breastfeeding, an
extreme case, but one that points out that negative feelings about
sexuality can impact on BF. My view is that debasing what is an
intimate, positive physicality by trivializing (commercializing,
exploiting) sex is part of a patriarchal system of values which places
intellect above and away from emotion, emotion above and away from
physicality, so that childbirth, breastfeeding and sexuality all get put
at the bottom of the pyramid, things that smart, good, sinless, people
avoid. (Menstruation is a curse, labour pains are punishment,
breastfeeding hurts, childrearing is a demeaning chore unworthy of
clever minds -- I get a real kick out of the title "What's a smart woman
like you doing at home?" Obviously, I'm teaching a course on ontology,
and showing an eager class what the meaning of life is... much more
intellectually challenging than university teaching, I have found.)
Also, our society has come to attribute more value to the married couple
than the nursing couple. This makes for a lot of interrelated problems.
Marriage is posited on a series of binary oppositions based on sex (men
and women are different because); it's easy for one of these poles
(male/intellectual or spiritual/aggressive/i.d. through work) to become
more valued than the other (female/emotional or physical/submissive/i.d.
through relationships) -- yes, of course we're talking about stereotypes
here, but I'm convinced we haven't overcome them yet. In another system
of values, such as the one I believe my husband was (partially) raised
in, social values would be built on the mother - child relationship,
which is not a binary opposition because the mother at once is and is
not the child she carries, births, nurses, etc. Men have much to gain
from a binary, hierarchical system, and breastfeeding babies have much
to lose. I used to feel a twinge when someone would acknowledge that
they had to make some compromise in childrearing in order to accomodate
their marriage (or their partner), until my own husband talked about his
childhood. Then, when discussing the family bed with an acquaintance,
she shook her head and said "I could never do that to my marriage," my
husband said I should have told her it was too bad that was the kind of
marriage she had; we didn't. When fathers get resentful of the
breastfeeding relationship, I think it goes beyond feeling they are
losing "their" breasts, and even their ownership of the female body; I
think it means they resent the loss of status they feel in the face of
the overwhelming power of the mother-child bond, which is so evident in
breastfeeding.
But I am very optimistic... several trends point to a shift in values,
as people are looking towards a more here-and-now spirituality that
integrates the spiritual, intellectual, emotional and physical aspects
of lives, and that we live out every time we put a baby to our breast.
Sorry. I didn't mean to ramble on so long.
Jo-Anne

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