I'm not sure why the mother of the 12-month-old needs to wean. She might
need to express some milk while her little one is away for such long
stretches of time, for her own comfort, but she can certainly continue to
breastfeed the rest of the time.

Perhaps she thinks that weaning will make the separation less stressful for
her toddler? I have heard this from many women, who seem to think that it is
only breastfeeding that makes the child unhappy about the separation, and
that if the child isn't nursing, he won't miss his mother. That just isn't
true, as millions of bottle feeding mothers will tell you. Her toddler will
be unhappy at being away from her for so long, and being able to come back
to the breast when he is at home will be a comfort to the toddler and to the
mother.

If I were in this situation, I would not worry at all about weaning. But if
I had a child who always nursed to sleep (as mine did) I would probably want
to take some time to gradually teach the child other ways to fall asleep, so
that the baby's father could use the same techniques. I know that often
rocking the baby to sleep is hard because they know the breast is right
there. My sister had some success with pushing her toddler around her
apartment in a stroller until she fell asleep. So I would try to find an
approach that works for this baby that is something the father can do.

Teresa Pitman
Guelph, Ontario

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