I find this an interesting question, because I have been there myself.   Anyone who has been in a very difficult breastfeeding situations can probably relate to this.
No matter how much sympathy and empathy we feel for a mother who is having difficulty/pain, it is really impossible to know what she is experiencing.  
Of course, pressure from a non supportive environment may make a mother feel she is in a far worse breastfeeding situation than she actually is in (by *our* standards), but the mother's experience is subjective, and it is very difficult to understand what she is going through.  

Of course a mother who comes to us for help wants to breastfeed her baby.  But the same mother who may be having such a hard time the she feels she can't take it any more, may also be asking for our permission to wean. 
All we can do is give the best support, help and encouragement that we can, even if we know that if the mother stuck with it a little longer, things would get better.  Believe me, this happens *even* in cases where breastfeeding was not sabotaged by the hospital or by misinformation.   This happened to me, with my first child.     Okay, so later I relactated....I *was* that motivated,   and it all worked out great, and this story is part of why I got into this altogether.  But I sure do remember the almost unbearable difficulties and feeling of wanting "permission" to wean.  It was helpful, and extremely important to get that support when I needed it (thanks, Esther!.. not to mention the help and support with relactation!).

Yael Wyshogrod IBCLC
Rechovot, Israel

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html