Stacey commented on low sex drive during breastfeeding. Although this is commonly mentioned, we must not forget that there are women who have an increased sex drive during breastfeeding, sometimes from soon after the birth. Some of them may have the opposite problem - spouses who see them as *Mother*, and can't relate to them as lovers, or who are turned off by leaking milk on orgasm. One of my Australian friends gets very annoyed when the media mentions the low sex drive issue, without balancing it with a mention about the other end of the spectrum.
I suspect that, because it is the low sex drive situation that is most talked about, mothers with increased sex drive feel constrained about speaking about it - that somehow they don't fit the appropriate pattern. If their partners are refusing them sex, I believe they are even less likely to mention it as this isn't something discussed in polite circles. However, mention this issue in a group of women, and some of this information tends to come out of the closet.
I tried to make this comment to the (male) speaker at a conference in South Africa in 1998, but he swung the question round and made it into the opposite, i.e. that I was supporting his contention that (all?) women have low sex drives after giving birth, rather than seriously questioning it. I began to wonder if it is a cultural thing, that society is not comfortable with the concept of breastfeeding mothers being sexy.
Whether the reasons for increased sex drive are hormonal, too, or just the lack of fear of a new pregnancy, I have no idea.
This posting is being sent to balance the picture, not to dispute the Stacey's comments in any way. I appreciate that both ends of the spectrum - low sex drive and increased sex drive - can be distressing for couples, at least where the partners' needs are discordant.
Virginia
in Brisbane, where the birds are singing this morning,
even at almost 9 a.m.
***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html
|