This has been an interesting issue to follow as an adult survivor of
childhood sexual abuse myself. I especially appreciated Nancy's very clearly
stated overview of this issue. My mother too is a survivor and both of us
breastfed, and felt strongly about breastfeeding.
As Nancy said everyone reacts in different ways. Mine was definitely the
self-destructive search for love and intimacy. I believe that for both my
mother and myself that breastfeeding was part of the healing process. It was
a healthy, if sensual, touching and way of expressing love for our child.
For myself, I believe that if I had not breastfed, I would have had
difficulty touching, carrying, physically nurturing my daughter. Indeed, it
was the deep feelings of love and learning to trust my daughter that
breastfeeding brought to the surface that initiated my decision to begin the
work of healing. I have talked with a number of other women with a similar
history who also found that breastfeeding was a door to freedom to heal in
many ways. However, we each must choose the route of healing/coping that
works for us at the place we are at in our lives, and I can understand the
choice of women who are not ready to deal with issues they would need to deal
with in order to breastfeed, and choose an alternative method.
One of the phrases I heard when I first got involved with supporting
breastfeeding was that we need to accept every mother where she is at in her
mothering. If we don't, we could be closing the door to her feeling ok
enough to make different choices in the future. It all comes down to
respect, dosen't it? We need to respect babies and not force them into
behaviors they aren't ready for, and we need to respect each mother is making
the best choice she can at that moment. Sometimes, with information,
education and support, mother and baby will make new choices and changes, but
even if they don't make the choice 'we' would prefer, they deserve our
respect. Rarely, do we have the opportunity to know a mother's background. .
.
Kathe Catone
|
