Cheryl, I'm sure many of us feel your pain!
Should you put something in writing? There are
several advantages over live conversation, including
the issue of self-restraint! My thoughts:
First, do whatever it takes to blow off your anger:
Write the letter you WON"T send, chatter away with a
Bf colleague at the coalition who understands, go
running yelling to yourself, whatever...
Then, write the real letter. Be upbeat, positive,
stress the positive aspects of the Christmas tree
project etc. Explain clearly but diplomatically the
importance of sending factual, pro-woman health
messages. (Try for one sentence.) Add back up
material on the Bf Coalition and/or Bf research facts.
(Preferably one sheet or brochure, maybe something
with your mission statement.) And cc appropriate
individuals. (This is the tough one!) If you choose
to cc anyone be sure it doesn't look like a threat but
an informational routine procedure. Have at least one
trustworthy person review your letter -- someone who
understands the issue but will make sure your tone is
positive and clear. The important thing is not to rub
her nose in the dirt; the important thing is to build
a relationship for the future.
One thing I like to do is pull out positive things the
"enemy" has said or done and capitalize on them. For
example, you have been invited to have a tree, she
understands the importance of promoting and supporting
Bf in the community, etc. You can stretch the truth a
bit as long as you don't sound sarcastic! Often when
I stretch the truth in an effort to find common
ground, the other person stretches with me.
When in doubt remember "Less is more." But not so
much "less" that the last thing anyone remembers is
the big scuttle over Bf... Always end on a positive
note! I promise it is possible to do so without
compromising your ethics or passion!
"Our founder so perfectly replied...you can bet there
will be a picture of Mother Mary breastfeeding Jesus!!
--We get to keep our word breast !!"
I'm glad to know Mary will be breastfeeding Jesus,
since after all, she did ... And it would be
difficult to address breastfeeding without breasts ...
Susan Johnson MFA, IBCLC
and Former Hoosier
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