>>I am not at all happy with the idea that bf supporters should try and
guess what the mother 'really' wants to do.

Just ask her!<<

I had a call recently that was typical of a lot of 'weaning' calls I get.
 The mom started by saying 'I need information on weaning.  Can you
recommend a book or tell me how you go about it?'  I asked her about what
was going on and we chatted a few minutes.  It seems her husband's been
'bugging' her about weaning.  Then she began speaking about a plugged
duct she's had that cleared up but has now reoccured.  Only after
discussing plugged ducts and mastitis for several minutes did she tell me
that she'd had lunch with a friend who told her all about the lump in a
nursing friend's breast that turned out to be breast cancer.  She used
words like 'I panicked' and 'I've been freaked out' about her own lump
(the plugged duct).
So after going through the secondary issues we finally got to her real
question.  This happens so often, I don't even try to answer that first
question until I've asked a lot of questions of my own.

And yes, sometimes I do get the call from the mom who shoots down every
suggestion I make, because she really does want permission to wean (like
I'm going to tell her what to do, either way ).  But from seeing these
moms over the months that follow, I also no there's no way to predict,
from that first phone call, which moms will persist and which will go
ahead and wean.  It's often the opposite of what I would have predicted.

My 5-year-old is begging me to be done, so I'd better go -

Marcia McCoy

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