This column appeared on Monday in a variety of newspapers.  

Dear Annie: My friend, "Lisa," and I both gave birth to daughters seven 
years ago, and we both breastfed our infants. Lisa had another two 
children and breastfed those infants as well, but she also continued 
breastfeeding the others. Now her children are 7, 5 and 3, and all of 
them are still breastfeeding.

Last month, I took my daughter over to Lisa's house to play. I was 
shocked when the 3-year-old walked up to his mother, pulled up her 
shirt, and started breastfeeding while we were sitting at the kitchen 
table having lunch. Later, as we sat talking in the family room, her 
5-year-old son did the same thing. My chin almost hit the floor. I 
didn't say anything, but Lisa noticed I was uncomfortable. She said, 
"Breastfeeding is healthy for the children."

After that, I excused myself and left with my daughter. As you can 
imagine, my daughter had a lot of questions on the drive home. Although 
she has seen relatives breastfeeding their babies, she couldn't 
understand what was going on in this situation. I'm not sure I 
understand it, either.

Annie, I have no problem with breastfeeding infants, but these are 
walking, talking children who attend school. Am I a prude? And, if this 
is normal, how should I have behaved? I have not gotten together with 
Lisa in her home since this happened, and frankly, I'm not sure I want 
to. But our daughters are in the same class at school, so I am bound to 
see her somewhere. Tell me what to do. -- Red-Faced Friend

Dear Red-Faced: While breastfeeding a toddler is quite common, most 
children wean themselves long before the age of 7. Nursing a child that 
age is often more for Mom's benefit than the child's. Our concern is if 
Lisa is encouraging an unhealthy dependence. However, what Lisa chooses 
to do in her own home is her business. The friendship need not suffer. 
If it makes you uncomfortable, arrange to see Lisa outside her home, and 
have your daughters play together at your house.

Can  we write these folks?    They need to know that breastfeeding older 
kids is not just beneficial to mom, and that it does not create an 
unhealthy  dependence.  AHH, maybe if a bunch of us writes, one will get 
published.  This would be especially so if those of you with lots of 
letters after your name use those letters.  Here is the address.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime 
editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to 
[log in to unmask], or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 
118190, Chicago, IL 60611.

Joylyn


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