Hi Everyone,
I spent a long time talking to my friend with the severely allergic baby
about various issues leading up to this and about relactation. I shared
with her all I had learnt from the Net and she was particularly
interested to hear about people who had done it.

Most people are pretty negative about the possibility of relactating
(breastfeeding counsellors, as well as many of her friends and family)
and the few positive things we have discovered are mostly from the Net.
She was glad to hear you did not think her crazy to come up with this
idea. The big problem I am coming up against is that she is frightened
to speak to a BC because she thinks they will try to discourage her or
think her a nut; and she has lost faith in all healthcare providers
(including voluntary BCs). She is leaning on me *hard* which I don't
mind (I really genuinely like the girl) but I am not trained (although I
am learning fast) and have no support for *me* in dealing with these
terribly upsetting issues. Today she got very upset when she told me of
how her milk had come in on day 5 (she gave up breastfeeding on day 3)
and had asked a midwife if she could put the baby to the breast. The
midwife told her it was pointless since "once you give a bottle that's
it for breastfeeding". E- suffered several days of pain and engorgement,
bittery disappointed that she was "not able to breastfeed" and her anger
and bitterness about this is tangible. I try to listen and reflect and
let her work through it, but it leaves me feeling so frustrated and
helpless. I expect you've all been there :-(

Despite having made the decision to relactate, E- is holding back. She
wants to wait until after the Christmas holidays so she can clear the
decks and work on it. However, she has already started taking the baby
into bed with her, and hand expressing. In the bath the other day, she
started leaking milk, and now she is getting letdowns. I was amazed to
hear this and hope it is a good sign. She wanted to buy a breastpump,
but I thought she'd be better off trying a rental pump before committing
a lot of money. I just wish I could convince her that breastfeeding
counsellors don't bite: I'd be home and dry :-(

Her baby is awaiting the cystic fibrosis tests, but she says the results
won't effect her actions and she suspects her doctors trying everything
else they can thing of, denying the most obvious conclusion - that her
baby is allergic to the "chemical muck" (her words) she is getting. Her
doctor told her that her baby is only "mildly allergic" to the latest
formula, but she says she is not listening to him - she says they have
ignored her all along and now is the time for her to take control of the
situation again. The other day, the baby went on "feeding strike" and
refused to eat for 20 hours (this happens quite a lot) and her baby can
take an hour to down one bottle (who said nursing is difficult and time
consuming?). She believes her baby knows the food is making her ill and
worried for her future (other babies in her family were "failure to
thrive" - they were all the bottle-fed babies and grew up to be sickly
adults; the breastfed babies in her family are fine).

Today I discovered that this baby is the result of fertility treatments,
and she has been told she may never be able to have another baby. This
broke my heart. I think I understand more than ever why being able to
nurse is becoming almost an obsession with her. If you believe in God,
please pray.
--
Anna (mummy to Emma, born 17th Jan 1995 and Alice, born 11th Sept 1996)
Email: [log in to unmask]  Web Page: http://www.ratbag.demon.co.uk/anna