Jennifer writes:
Because feeding competency lies with the infant, this would not be the case
when birth and feeding are part of a physiologic whole. When they are not,
the mother can regain her own competency by focusing on the "needs" of the
older child, while being removed, even sometimes dismissive or callous to the
needs of the newborn.
~~ Interesting. Even when the new one isn' t weaned, the pattern can be a
real mind-boggler (for me).
Mom with toddler, 18-24 months I think, has new baby. First baby had serious
and chronic nursing issues but mom did manage to nurse. Mom is terrified of
neglecting in any way the first child for fear of causing emotional problems.
Second baby comes, some nursing issues but not as serious. Something some
moms would consider not too problematic, but also perhaps mom-prolonged in
part. We had a real schedule to try to work around, mom chose...
Life schedule: Newborn allowed to breastfeed between 9 AM and 8PM only, baby
nurse took baby upstairs and was not seen again til the next morning, while
mom focused on toddler and her husband and her own sleep. Baby received
bottles of pumped milk during the absence.
This seemed like a tough way to work out nursing issues, but actually in
time they did work out to the mom's satisfaction and this mom went on to
breastfeed that second little one with all the limiting, for over a year, something
she had not done with toddler/first one. I got a call letting me know, which
was nice.
I learned from that one!
Peace,
Judy
Judy LeVan Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL
Brooklyn, NY, USA
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