Jennifer writes: Because feeding competency lies with the infant, this would not be the case when birth and feeding are part of a physiologic whole. When they are not, the mother can regain her own competency by focusing on the "needs" of the older child, while being removed, even sometimes dismissive or callous to the needs of the newborn. ~~ Interesting. Even when the new one isn' t weaned, the pattern can be a real mind-boggler (for me). Mom with toddler, 18-24 months I think, has new baby. First baby had serious and chronic nursing issues but mom did manage to nurse. Mom is terrified of neglecting in any way the first child for fear of causing emotional problems. Second baby comes, some nursing issues but not as serious. Something some moms would consider not too problematic, but also perhaps mom-prolonged in part. We had a real schedule to try to work around, mom chose... Life schedule: Newborn allowed to breastfeed between 9 AM and 8PM only, baby nurse took baby upstairs and was not seen again til the next morning, while mom focused on toddler and her husband and her own sleep. Baby received bottles of pumped milk during the absence. This seemed like a tough way to work out nursing issues, but actually in time they did work out to the mom's satisfaction and this mom went on to breastfeed that second little one with all the limiting, for over a year, something she had not done with toddler/first one. I got a call letting me know, which was nice. I learned from that one! Peace, Judy Judy LeVan Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL Brooklyn, NY, USA **************It's Tax Time! Get tips, forms, and advice on AOL Money & Finance. (http://money.aol.com/tax?NCID=aolprf00030000000001) *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome