Arly wrote beautifully of the responsibility of WIC to support
breastfeeding as an outcome for participants. I see this as being very
different from the original situation (a mom at church). When a mother
chooses to participate in any given program, she is inherently
accepting the processes and procedures of that program as part of her
experience with it.
The mother in church did not sign up for any intervention, anyone
else's opinion, any "education". My thoughts were very much like Sam's.
My training was also in LLL 18 years ago and it has served me well to
remember to allow women to ask for help when they need it. To this day,
I will not call a mother b/c someone asks me to--the mother must call
me. It is a whole different energy--and more respectful in both
directions.
Also, like Sam, I have taken the brunt of other people's desire to
enlighten me--about the "dangers" of my choices-- to birth my babies at
home or not to vaccinate my children, about the social "disadvantages"
of homeschooling my children, about the "dangers" of? raising my
children vegan, even the "dangers" of nursing my children as old as 6.
I do not assume people choose not to breastfeed because they are stupid
or ignorant or uneducated. I know damn well I made my choices BECAUSE I
was very educated and very confident and that they were right. To this
day, there are people I know and people I don't know who would disagree
with me for any number of reasons and who would label me irresponsible.
The good news is that I am free to make my choices and so is everyone
else. I don't care what others think and I don't want to hear their
opinions, unless I ask. Do I think breastfeeding has less room for
argument than, say eating a vegan diet? Maybe. But, then I think having
babies in hospitals is just as dangerous as not breastfeeding. I think
feeding cow milk to children after weaning is just as dangerous as not
breastfeeding. So, you see the slippery little slope?
We might all sit in our certainty about infant feeding and think we
know what is best (and believe me, I think we do), but if we could
agree to mandate or impose our will on this issue, what next? If I
agree to go along with some kind of mandate on infant feedings, I have
no right to complain when I am suddenly the one imposed upon about
another topic--say I am forced to send my children to public school b/c
the greater majority has decided that my children are at risk being
homeschooled. I always remember the phrase, "you cannot legislate
common sense". What matters to me is that we level the playing
field--that we make it possible for everyone who wants to bf to do so,
that we make it impossible for industry to have any say in infant
feeding, that we make breastfeeding anywhere and everywhere normal,
that we ensure that any medical person who comes into contact with a
bf'ing dyad gives only accurate info (or refers), that birth is made safe for
babies, etc. When all of that happens, women will bf, w/o coercion. And
if they do not, well, who am I to judge the karmic agreement between
two souls?
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA
Intuitive Parenting Network LLC
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